Tuesday, February 13, 2018

Our Olympic Event

The Mr and I have been Olympics addicts since the games began. Glued to the TV. Loving every minute.

We developed a running gag that should take us through the next two weeks. It got started the first day of competition. We watched a skier launch himself off the "normal" ski jump, which is almost 300 feet off the ground, become airborne like he was some kind of sleek, micro-fibre-clad flying squirrel, and then nail his landing, (upright, mind you) which is apparently almost 820 feet out. 

The Mr turned to me and said, "I could have attempted that."

"Yeah? You could have ATTEMPTED that?" 

"I'm not saying I could DO that. I'd fall on my keister, but I could attempt it."

"Way, to keep your dreams alive, dear," I said. 

We crack each other up. 

But, isn't it the truth? Not everybody can do these things. That's why it's so special to watch Olympic athletes. These kids are exceptional beings with amazing talents and fearless ambitions. They can do things that other humans can't. They've got that drive to excel. Competitive spirit to go for the gold. It's important that the inert among us get to sit back and marvel, "Wow! That's amazing! How does anybody DO that?!?"

Speed skaters defy gravity at 50 miles an hour. 

Snowboarders hurl themselves off cliffs and skim across pipes.

Figure skaters twirl airborne in quadruple axels.

Madmen in skimpy sleds shoot through sloped icy tunnels.

Curlers skid along sheer ice sweeping granite rocks for all they're worth.

Okay, we actually could do that last one, but we'd need BenGay in the morning.

But a triple Lutz? Sure, I could ATTEMPT it, but……exactly. Klutz on the Lutz.

So, you'll know where to find us for the next two weeks. On the couch. That's our Olympic event. The Pairs Sitting Event. We are AMAZING at it. Been training for years. We are gold medal couch-sitting material, the Mr and I. 

Do I hear cheering? Is the national anthem playing?