Somebody said the words, "spring cleaning" the other day. I hadn't heard of that in ages. I thought it was an event from our mothers' generation. So, I Googled. Apparently humans have been sweeping away winter when spring arrives for over 3,000 years! On top of that, wouldn't you know, the end of March marks National Spring Cleaning Week. Who knew?
In 45 years of housekeeping, I have never done what you'd call, "spring cleaning."
Now, don't think I'm a slacker. I hold my own in the general home economics department. After all, I have been cleaning professionally since the age of 8 when I landed a prestigious position as Mother's Little Helper. I earned a weekly wage of $1.00 for dusting, vacuuming, dish-drying, and sorting laundry. My folks got around the child labour laws by calling it, "earning my allowance." It was supposed to be good for my childhood development. "You'll make a good wife someday," they said. I pretended to be Cinderella and fantasized about a handsome prince rescuing me from cleaning the bathtub.
Anyway, my Prince Charming did come along; aka, The Mr.! Yay! We clean house together. How charming is that? (This is what happily ever after looks like.)
He and I do fine with our individual assignments and once-a-week chores. But in my research I see that "spring cleaning," is defined by giving annual attention to the tasks you normally skip on your regular rotation. Icky, odious tasks like, washing the Venetian blinds. Deodorizing the garbage pails. Scrubbing the unbudgeable, greasy grime rimming the stove burners — those burnt-on rings that I now call, "patina."
But now, spring is in the air. And it smells like Lemon Pledge! Time to send dirt packing!
The list of chores? As despicable as soap scum. The Mr. and I strategized plans of attack.
Option 1: The Zone Stratagem: Tackle one whole room at a time; one day at a time.
Option 2: The Lottery Derivation: Write tasks on pieces of paper and both players draw one chore per day, for a week.
Option 3: The X-treme Clean Causation: Schedule an hour one morning and race the clock. Like a competition show on TV.
Option 4: The Ignore it All Experimentation: Take on a chore only if it really needs it, e.g.; if the smell from the trash bin would gag a maggot, it probably needs to be sanitized.
Option 5: The Singular Sufficiency: Assign everything to The Mr.
Or, we could follow the advice of a former neighbour, whose mother coached her that spring cleaning was best done by opening all the windows on a windy day and letting the breeze blow the dirt away.
Readers: We have a Winner! Option 6: The Cyclone Solution!
