Top 5 Things to Make You Cry at a Wedding

Our niece, Kate, made an astute observation this past weekend on the eve of her cousin Kyle’s wedding to the gloriously gorgeous Laura. She said, “There are really only two family events that are guaranteed to make you cry: funerals and weddings.”

“True,” I agreed.

Funerals. Obviously. Sadness, combined with the inevitable flood of memories and the awesome truth of human mortality. How do you not weep at funerals?

But, weddings? Why do we choke up at these happy occasions? We suddenly find ourselves dabbing a tissue at tears erupting when someone says, “I do.” Such a simple, optimistic phrase! Makes me sob every time.

I think weeping at weddings might be due to the fact that there are so many more complex emotions involved than at funerals. At a wedding, you’ve got joy, delight, happiness, nostalgia, longing, nervousness, pride, hopefulness and love….certainly, love. All colliding with the anxiety that the event should turn out perfectly, a touch of melancholy, perhaps, for those whose own loves are lost, sometimes lingering family tensions that are barely contained for the day, and maybe even a little bit of sorrow or grief mixed in. Weddings are rife with touching moments, declarations of devotion, sweetness, and that wonderful innocence of young lovers starting off on lives filled with hope and promise— reflections on our best qualities when we were that age.

The thing about weddings is that you never know when your throat will clench shut sending a chain reaction of tears spilling over your mascara, moisture gathering in your nasal passages that you know will require an undainty nose-blow and gasps preparing to escape with little “uh-huh-huh-huhs” from your throat. And we try so hard to not let that happen! We say things, like, “Oh, I hope I don’t cry!” and, “For heavens’ sakes, don’t hand me a Kleenex – you’ll only make it worse!”  But when the waterworks well up, we stifle the impulse. We choke down the urge and swallow the instinct. I say, let it go! Let the emotions rip! Go ahead and cry your eyes out!

“Do you, Kyle, take Laura…….”

“I do.”

“BWAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!”

Can you imagine 250 or so witnesses to a wedding all loudly bawling their eyes out?  It would be awesome!

Anyway, as for me, per polite custom, I stifled at Kyle and Laura’s wedding as much as I could and caught stray teardrops with well-timed tissues. And besides I didn’t want droplets of eye makeup dripping onto my dress. I choked up on a number of occasions, however and will share with you now the Top 5 that got me going:

5.       At a party two nights prior to the wedding, my sister-in-law, Donna, the groom’s mother, sang her signature piece: “Turn Around” – lyrics including, “Turn around and you’re two, turn around and you’re four, turn around and you’re a young man going out of the door.” Every time I looked at Kyle’s Dad, Glenn, who was struggling to stifle, I choked up more. I’m sobbing just writing this.

 

4.       Both parents giving the bride away. Laura’s Mom and Dad walked her down the aisle together and then kissed and hugged her before she took Kyle’s arm at the altar. It was lovely.

 

3.       The vows. See above.

 

2.       The flash mob that broke out at the reception after the speeches. Organized by Laura’s younger siblings, “the young people” got up to dance to a karaoked version of a popular song that they adapted with specific Kyle and Laura references. So sweet, so joyous.

 

1.       Ken, my dear husband of 35 years, played guitar along with his brother, Gordon, and our nephew Charlie, at the aforementioned pre-party as well as at a family night on Sunday after the wedding.  Donna sang. Each of them did numbers that got me in tears. Ken adapted a Jackson Browne song, “Lawyers in Love” especially for Laura and Kyle, both of them attorneys, which was very sweet. But what touched my heart the most was Ken singing a Vince Gill song that goes, “If you want to see what true love can be, look at us.” Now I’m sitting here in front of my computer, writing this in my p.j.’s, not worrying about mascara stains, and crying my eyes out. Thank you, sweetheart.

 Weddings are excellent for a good cry. Next one you attend, try not to stifle.

 

Best wishes to Laura and Kyle for many, many happy years together. Look at us.