Boy in a Dog Suit

My fur son, Riley, goes to Club K-9 Doggy Day Care every Tuesday and Thursday. This gives me some time to do things. Don’t judge me. He has a lot of fun running around with the other dogs and comes home a very tired, happy dog. In the meantime, I get a few uninterrupted hours to write, shop, exercise, tidy up, have lunch out, or even have conversation with adult people!

Most other days, I am a full-time, stay-at-home dog mom. That’s because Riley is a full-time dog. And by 5:30 when Ken arrives home from work, I’m ready for a glass of wine. “You watch him! I need to go sit down!”

During the day, here is the conversation I have with my boy:

 “RILEY!! Will you PLEASE…..” (Check all that apply):

ü  Stop tearing up the lawn!

ü  Quit barking at that jogger!

ü  Get your face out of the dishwasher!

ü  Leave that squirrel alone!

ü  Stop chewing on your foot!

ü  Drop that plush toy/drop that stuffing!

ü  Quit pulling me!

ü  Get out of the Hostas!

ü  Not drool on my pants!

ü  Just give me 10 minutes of peace!

I don’t intend to be such a cranky mom, but Riley is not a dog that can go unsupervised for more than a minute or two. When he was a pup, we fenced the yard so that he could be outside by himself safely for at least short periods of time. Nope, not our Riley. He can get himself into trouble at the drop of a…well…how can I put it? Let’s just say that he likes to clean up after himself.

Now, I don’t want to hear, “You haven’t been tough enough on him!”  He isn’t an unruly, untrained brat! Not at all! Riley has had tons of training – all of it in today’s kinder, gentler method using rewards for “right” behaviors.  Even though we don’t use punishment or negative reinforcement, a choke chain or domination that would have us referring to ourselves as “Alpha,” positive training is supposed to be much more effective. Riley has learned basic good manners and impressive obedience skills. We praise him for his successes. And he has had many. He even has his Canine Good Citizen certificate.

He is certainly the apple of his Dad’s eye. This is a man whose face melted when he first held his new puppy in his arms. This is a dog dad who says things like, “Who’s the best boy in the world?” and “I don’t know what your problem is, dear, he walks fine with me.”

I do love the little guy. He can be such an angel — especially when he’s sleeping. He does this thing that would break your heart. When Ken is leaving to go to work, Riley and I sit on the stairs and give Daddy a kiss good-bye — at the same time, both of us laying a wet one on each of Ken’s cheek. Very sweet.

So, why do I nag and scold? Why do I feel like a total failure of a dog mother that Riley can chew on my last nerve? Is it because he’s a boy? If Riley were a human kid, he’d be Dennis  The Menace. He’d have a cowlick, dirty face and grass-stained knees. He is boisterous, mischievous, smart, agile and athletic. He is a bit of a goof. I think he might have ADD.

Our dog before Riley was a Golden Retriever girl. Sami was a dainty, darling dog whose mission in life was to be a gentle soul. She was patient and stoic when little kids asked if they could pat her. At age 15 when she passed on, she left behind a collection of unharmed plush toys that filled a bushel basket. She didn’t like to get her paws wet. She was “Sugar and spice, and all things nice.” When Riley came into our lives he demonstrated the other half of that old verse, “Snips and snails and puppy dog tails, that’s what little boys are made of.”

But that’s my Riley. Shredding a plush toy per week. Splashing through rain puddles. Bounding through leaf piles with a goofy grin on his face. Running full out across a field when his dad throws a ball for him. Emerging from underbrush covered in mud and burrs. Yanking the leash suddenly backwards knocking me nearly off my feet so he can sniff interesting “D-mail” messages from other dogs. Barking furiously at kids on skateboards. Digging craters the size of Texas. Sitting in the middle of the yard with a toy in his mouth staring at the door until I come out to play. And then running away as soon as I do.

He is such a boy. And such a great dog. We have to run now. We are off to his Games and Tricks class.