Hip, Hip, Hurray?

My word of the week is “hipster.”

That’s because Ken and I spent the weekend in Cincinnati where there are a lot of hipsters, especially in the hotel where we stayed, the uber-hip 21c Museum Hotel, with its ultra-hip contemporary art collection. We had dinner in the amazingly hip, absolutely fabulous, foodie-haven hotel restaurant on Saturday evening, where waiters wore skin-tight jeans with plaid shirts, semi-untucked-in, of course, and one or two of them wore sweater-vests over white Tee shirts. They sported either Amish-bordering-on-Duck-Dynasty beards or their hair parted above the ears with small pony tails pulled up into Buddhist monk-esque top knots. The young woman who seated us had a pierced nose, a short sweater dress and combat boots.

Urbandictionary.com defines “hipsters” as “a subculture of men and women in their 20s and early 30s that values independent thinking, counter-culture…..creativity, intelligence and witty banter.” And, even though it was US that defined “counter-culture” way back in our youth, I have read that hipsters think of themselves as the true “outside- the-social-mainstreamers.” They will reject definitions and labels that limit their scope for being uniquely themselves and will disdain all societally accepted status symbols. Excuse me, but isn’t that what we said back in the 70s?

Looking around the room, I leaned in close and whispered to Ken that I was noticing that the diners in the room were almost equally divided between hipsters and….he finished my sentence for me…."people waiting for new hips." “Exactly!” I said, because the other half of the population consisted of “older folks,” closer in age to our own demographic. But, of course, WE are much hipper than those old, sadly un-cool fuddy-duddies in the restaurant. As we nibbled our 12-ancient-grains bread with smoked butter and waited for our carmelized cauliflower with juniper berry compote, it occurred to me that a few characteristics distinguish our age groups.

We Baby Boomers may have invented the “generation gap,” but, let’s face it, a lot of years have intervened since then. And if you have not yet realized that your rebel days have been hijacked by today’s hipsters, I present this handy chart so that you can better understand the gulf that divides us…and really feel like the old fart you are.

Hipster                                                                              Needing a New Hip

Locavore                                                                           Antacid-vore

Quinoa & kale salad with beet chips                           1,000 Islands Dressing          

Zombie Apocalypse                                                         Keith Richards

Craft beers                                                                        Doing crafts

Juice cleanse                                                                     Metamucil

Modern Farmer magazine                                              Farmer’s Almanac

Streaming TV & movies                                                   Closed Captioning 

Joining the local food co-op                                            Joining AARP

Free-traded, grande, soy, caramel macchiato             Decaf

Vintage clothing stores                                                    Talbots

Buddy Holly-esque, ironically lens-less glasses           Progressive lenses

Casual, messy, just-got-out of-bed hair                        Male pattern baldness

Vegan/raw diet                                                                 Bland prep for colonoscopy

Urbanite growing veggies in a window box                 Urban farmer’s market

Obscure Indie music                                                         Fleetwood Mac reunion                              

wikiHow                                                                              Wiki. What?

Hot yoga                                                                              Sit’N’B’Fit

Second-hand argyle sweater vest                                   Down vest/fleece jacket

Group dating                                                                       Date Night

Texting/Twitter/Instagram/Tumblr                                How does this thing work?

Maximum 2% body fat                                                      Weight Watchers 

Fixed-gear bicycle                                                               Porsche

Skin-tight jeans                                                                   Belt up under your armpits

Dachshund                                                                          Goldendoodle

Brooklyn, NY                                                                       Boca Raton, FL

Eco-consciousness                                                             Remembers the 1970s

Well, it’s sobering isn’t it? But never mind. Forty years from now, those hipsters will look back on their 20s and 30s and wonder where their formerly slim hips went. Or they’ll be on a waiting list for new bionic hip replacements. May they look upon the up and coming youth and think, “Ah, I was once just like you.”