You've heard of slow dancing. Slow lanes. Slow cookers. Slow pokes. But have you heard of the Slow Movement?
I read about this fad in a trendy magazine at the hair salon — you know —where you get ALL the best information. As the name implies, the Slow Movement prescribes an unhurried pace rather than constant rushing around. Being "Slow" is to experience life in a thoughtful way. To drink in its pleasures. To relish. To delight and appreciate. You get the idea.
"Slow" has come to be applied to all kinds of activities: Slow Food. Slow Cinema. Slow Gardening. Even Slow Sex (and who's going to say no to that one?)
So, here's the thing! Retirement is the very definition of Slow! Ever since we rounded the corner into our golden years, the Mr and I have been totally crushing the Slow Movement. (And slow movement doesn't mean you need to boost your daily dose of Metamucil. Although, at our age, what could it hurt?)
Heck, our whole day is slow! We linger over breakfast. Do the crossword. Watch the Today Show. Step outdoors holding a coffee mug. Just stand there. Ask ourselves, "Well. What ARE we going to do today?" Bliss.
Now that we are experts on the subject, I am happy to share some tips on Slow Retirement for those of you who are poised to exit the work force. Or maybe you are already out there collecting your pension. Use these bits of wisdom as a check list to get you back on track. You, too, can achieve the ultimate Slow experience.
Top Five Slow Retirement Tips:
5. Pace yourself. One major activity per day is enough. We find that taking a shower AND cleaning our glasses is really too much for one day. Save something for tomorrow. It gives you hope.
4. Schedule naps. You know you want to. So go ahead and lie down, for heaven's sake! And don't wimp out with a toss cushion and a light blanket on the couch! Crawl into bed! Fluff up your pillows! Pull up the covers! Sleep! Perchance to dream! Pick your own favourite time, but we like the 4:00/4:30 time slot. That way, when we wake up, it's already Wine O'clock!
3. Keep moving. But don't overstrain yourself. There is a reason that Tai Chi is so popular with oldsters. It is positively glacial! But if that isn't your cup of Chai, then peruse your local Rec Center catalogue for 60+ programs. Yoga. Zumba. Lawn Bowling — which, let's face it, has been the Gold Star Standard of seniors' activities for generations. Personally, I enjoy a old folks' Sculpt and Tone class — go-at-your-own-pace, low-impact. Be warned, though: these sessions are usually set to Oldies play lists. It's fun to relive the 50s, 60s, and 70s, but I'd argue that Queen's "Another One Bites the Dust," isn't the best selection for a bunch of old ladies.
2. Find folks in your own age group to chat with. It doesn't take long to spot retirees. Snoozing at the symphony. Lined up for eye-tests at the Department of Motor Vehicles. Checking out the hearing aid display at the Wellness Fair. Fingering through a wallet full of loose coins at the grocery check out to "give the right change." Ordering discount appetizers for dinner at any Happy Hour anywhere. Actually buying a real book at Chapters. The Mr enjoys striking up conversations with other old guys at Home Depot. They can be found wandering the aisles checking out drill bits and barbecue brushes. If you see someone in a Tilley hat at the Home Depot, you know you've found a pensioner. The question isn't, "ARE you retired?" It's "WHEN did you retire?" The hat renders the first question moot.
1. Learn everything you can about your various health problems. This is really Advanced Slow Retirement. Performed in a loud voice at your local coffee bar, you will narrate your personal health care drama in juicy, jaw-dropping detail to an astonished audience of new pals (see #2 above.) Hours will go by as they do likewise. At the end, the winner is the story-teller who evokes the most disgust, as in, "I had no idea that could even happen to a person!"
See? You are going to have such fun taking it slow.
Now, you will have to excuse me. It's my day to clean my glasses. I'm pacing myself.
