Tuesday, May 24, 2011

SHE AIN'T HEAVY...Or: Food, Glorious Food!


Is there a person in North America today who is not obsessed with their weight? If you are free from the constant nagging in your head that maybe you should lose a few – or maybe even gain a couple – I’d like to meet you and give you a big hug.

When I was a teen the doctor told mother, “She’s way too skinny! Give her milkshakes!” The pounds have come on gradually, but steadily since then. I swore up and down that I was never going to become neurotic about weight gain, but that’s exactly what has happened (and yes, I know, those of you who know what I look like are saying, “Really?”) I also swore that I would never allow myself to gain enough to warrant the size I swore I’d never wear – which has happened, much to my embarrassment. I was resolute that I would never even peak into the Women’s section where pants have elastic in the waist band (comfy as they are!) And so, with all that swearing going on, I resisted ever being on a diet - not so far in my entire life. A conundrum, yes?

Well, the chickens have come home to roost – along with the double chocolate brownies, phyllo pastry appetizers and Eggs Benny. It is time to lose some pounds. Time to join the Stamp Out Obesity in America campaign. Now, I’m not inclined for anything faddish. Not Atkins or South Beach or grapefruit or even the Dr. Oz-approved eat-what-you-want-all-week-but-reserve-one-day-for-eating-nothing-but-protein diet. The thought of going to a confess-your-sins Weight Watchers meeting makes my skin crawl. I’m also not about to take diet pills or contemplate gastric bypass. I recognize that what is needed is not a quick fix or even a temporary change in habits. What is called for is a whole life sentence…er, commitment…yeah, that’s it, commitment….to better eating.

Not that we eat poorly. I love to cook with good, wholesome food fresh from our wonderful little market or direct from farmers in the summertime. Ken, dear man that he is, loves to eat what I cook.  He has said, “thanks, honey!” after just about every meal I’ve prepared in our 34 years of marriage. Eating a good dinner is what we do together and I’m not prepared to change that. I’m also not about to give up drinking wine. Dinner is NOT a protein shake and a power bar! Herein lies my problem. Meals are events at our house.

So what’s a girl to do? I looked at Weight Watchers’ online program today and thought, “Well, at least I wouldn’t have to go to a meeting.” Their online assessment tool puts me at an ideal weight for my height of 105-135! What!?! Are they kidding? I was 105 when I got married at age 24! I ain’t going back there!  This got me to worrying: if I don’t want to lose that much are they going to calculate my calorie target at an unreachable goal and I’ll starve when I really only want to lose a measly 20 pounds?

Stay tuned! I should be able to keep on a diet for, oh, maybe 3days!

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