You may not be aware that cookie typologies represented by the Girl Guides of Canada and the Girl Scouts of the United States are quite distinctively different. Canadian Girl Guides sell a sandwich-style, icing-filled cookie. A box features half vanilla and half chocolate. Their American counterparts, the Girl Scouts, sell a variety of single-flavor boxes that include a chocolate-covered mint thin, a caramel/coconut combo, a shortbread, and a peanut butter sandwich, to list just a few of the best-sellers.
The tension over this has reached a scale proportionate to the Middle East Peace Talks.
I say, it’s time to put this disagreement to rest at last and be friends once again. To that end, I am open to hearing arguments from both sides of the border.
Thus far, the argument has gone something like this:
Girl Guide cookies are better than Girl Scouts’!
Are not!
Are too!
Are not!
Are too!
This is not productive. As reasonable adults, I believe it is time to settle down and debate the issue rationally.
The Girl Guides’ sandwich cookie is a very polite and unassuming, almost self- effacing cookie. It harkens back to the days when Canada was a British crown colony and everyone anticipated the vicar coming for afternoon tea – or maybe the Queen Herself dropping in. You would of course serve a sandwich style cookie such as those sent over from England by Peak Freen.
Rebuttal?
The Girl Scout assortment of cookies offers something for everyone, whether one prefers mint, chocolate, shortbread, peanut butter, coconut, lemon or some other Flavor. It is truly a patriotic, American cookie collection as it offers options and choices. The cookies represent rugged individualism and independence; good old American values. And as for afternoon tea with British royalty, well we know what happened in Boston.
Yeah? Well, Girl Guide cookies packaged as one, together in vanilla and chocolate, represent true Canadian-style multiculturalism — kind of like English and French equality on labels and government signs.
Ha! Our Girl Scout cookie varieties are a melting pot of many, many kinds all coming together to form one nation of cookies, indivisible!
So! Our cookies have a high level of interaction, like three cookie experiences in one – the two cookie disks plus the sweet cream filling. You can pry them apart and scrape the filling out with your teeth! Can’t do THAT with your thin minty cookies!
So what! Oreos did that first and who did you think invented them?!?
O.K., O.K., but your peanut butter cookie could cause an allergic reaction!
And your cookies contain gluten!
So do yours!!!!
You see how this goes. It seems as though a bi-national agreement over this thorny issue will be impossible to reach.
Perhaps both sides need to sit down for a good old fashined cookie party. Anyone got milk?
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