Thursday, January 1, 2015

Gift Exchange


If you have been married or have been living with someone for a long time, you’ve probably experienced “the thought transfer.” You know how it goes. It’s when you finish each other’s sentences. Or your spouse says, “Hey, I was just thinking about….” and you say, “I was just thinking the same thing!” It’s eerie sometimes, isn’t it?

But have you ever experienced “the gift transfer?”  This is a less well-known phenomenon that occurs when you give each other the gift that you really wanted to get for yourself.

Here’s how it works. I bought the mister a cozy UGGs bath robe. He bought me cozy UGGs slippers. We both shopped at the same swanky little shop in our neighborhood thinking the same thing, “he/she will like something special from this swanky little shop.” We opened our gifts on Christmas morning and said, kindly, to one another, “Thank you, dear! This/these are lovely. How sweet of you!”

And we meant it.

My slippers were terrific. Buckskin-colored suede with a pink suede tie. Fleecy sheepskin lining.  Unfortunately, they were too small. “Never mind, I’ll take them back to the swanky little shop and exchange them for a larger size,” I said, “I really do like them. Thank you, dear.”

The mister said he loved the robe. He tried it on and said, “Oh, that’s very cozy.”

“It looks good on you,” I said, “Kind of like Lord Grantham.”

“Yeah, but you know, I’m used to getting up and getting dressed right away. I don’t really need a bath robe.”  

“Oh, I know,” I said, "I took a chance. But I thought you might feel like putting on a robe sometimes. Like when you get the flu or something. ”

“Yeah, not so much,” he said, “Do you mind if I take it back? I looked at UGGs slippers for me. I’d really like to get them.”

Later that day, I had a brainstorm. “You know what? Why don’t you exchange my slippers for the slippers you want. And my old bath robe is shot, so I’ll swap the one I got for you for one for me!”

Something about that idea gave me a warm feeling – and it wasn’t just imagining fleece-lined coziness. I thought it was kind of, well, sweet. The mister wanted slippers but gave them a pass and bought some for me instead. And I wanted a bath robe, but bought one for him. It was almost like that lovely old, O. Henry story, “The Gift of the Magi,” written in 1905. Do you know it?

The story is set in Victorian times, about a couple who love each other very much, but are poor as Church mice. Each tries to think of a gift that they can buy for the other for Christmas when they have so little money to spare. His most valued possession is a pocket watch inherited from his father, but he is in need of a chain to attach it to his pocket. Her most glorious feature is her long, golden hair, but she longs for some beautiful ivory combs she has seen in a shop window so she can arrange it into luxurious curls. She decides to sell her hair to a wigmaker so she will have enough money to buy her beloved a gold chain. He sells his watch to a pawnbroker so he can purchase the ivory combs for his darling’s golden tresses. The story is sad and sweet and deeply ironic, but is a lovely reminder of sacrifice, selfless giving and true love.

After Christmas, my beloved and I went to the swanky little shop. They were out of the women’s UGGs slippers in any size, so I chose instead a beautiful robe that feels as soft as a Golden Retriever (and is the same color, so when the dog sheds on me it won’t show.) The mister found a pair of slippers for him in the right size, the last pair in the swanky little shop.

OK, it wasn’t exactly like “The Gift of the Magi.”

It’s the thought that counts. 

 

 

No comments:

Post a Comment