Late as I am to most trends, I've only just heard of the "KonMari Method". You know how you hear something for the first time and then suddenly it pops up everywhere? Well, look out for "KonMari."
The brain child of a young woman named Marie Kondo, "KonMari" is causing a neatness revolution with the best-selling how-to book: "The Life Changing Magic of Tidying-Up: the Japanese Method of Decluttering and Organizing." It's available on Kondo's elegant, serene-looking web site: konmari.com. She also has a show on Netflix, and as well, has been featured in major publications and on TV shows, such as "Ellen." "Time" magazine lists Marie Kondo on their 100 most influential people in America. I found an entire page about her on "Goop."
On "Goop," people!
Ms. Kondo's Method is all about achieving serenity through minimalism and is centered around getting rid of things — specifically, stuff we don't need. She urges us to keep only those things that "spark joy." In this purge of our everyday flotsam and jetsam, we must speak to each item, thank it for its service, and if it doesn't speak delight to our hearts, we must send it packing. And only then may we commence to neatly sorting and storing whatever remains, thus entering into a Nirvana-seeking realm of mindful organization. The web site even includes tutorials on how to fold clothing. Yes, you too, can turn your sweaters into Origami swans.
But only the joy-giving sweaters, because the others get the heave ho to the Goodwill.
How did I miss this until now? Where HAVE I been? Oh, I know! I have been Decluttering! My method has become known as, "The Life-Altering Circumstance of Moving Across the Continent to a Smaller House: the Retirees' Down-sizing Imperative." And let me note, right here, that if I had stopped to speak to each item, listening for its joyful song, before tossing it, we would still be in our Dayton basement, 6 months later, sorting through 41 years-worth of collected crap….er, treasures.
And what of objects that aren't the least bit inspiring, but are downright functional? "Thank you for your service, stapler, but you're an ugly little sucker, so into the trash bin you go!" No. I brought the stapler.
At the time we packed up our household, I had no knowledge of "KonMari." But in spite of that, I think I did pretty well. We donated, recycled, re-homed, and tossed out a veritable Mt. Fuji-sized pile of goods that had potential to clutter up our soon-to-be-streamlined life. But, it wasn't enough. 108 boxes traveled with us to our new home. Way too much stuff to qualify as a true "KonMari tidying journey."
For example, I certainly wish I had known about the Method when I packed 46 unopened, joyless packages of paper cocktail napkins. And where was "KonMari" when we decided to bring along a stationary bike that neither of us had used in 15 years? No joy there, let me tell you! And what was I thinking, bundling up 30 tangled strings of Christmas lights — that no longer worked?!? No mindfulness operating that day!
On the other hand, I had a "KonMari" moment with two dozen Mason jars from the salad-served-in-a-jam-jar days (a trend, see "Goop" above.) I caressed every one of those glass containers, and whispered to each, "One day I'll invite 24 for lunch and serve Tuna Nicoise in you. I promise," and lovingly tucked the whole works into a cardboard packing carton. (They are now languishing on a shelf in the garage waiting for a sudden urge to preserve peaches that might overcome me.)
In truth, I have always been something of a neat freak, so "KonMari Method" does hold some appeal for me. I see it as kind of a zen mash-up with the spare, rational, "Less is More," "Form Follows Function," "Have nothing in your home that you do not believe to be beautiful or useful," modernism that I learned in design school. Hey, maybe I'm actually way ahead of the trend!
So, if you will excuse me, I will now go and meditate over a closetful of clothing I have no place to wear. Oh, joy!
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