Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Neufs - The Sitcom; Episode Two

Neufs- the Sitcom

Previously on Neufs: Buying a fridge at a store that closes at 5:30 on Friday turns out to be a futile exercise.
Episode Two: “May I Speak to Customer Service, Please?”

Saturday; 1:00 pm

Neufeld residence; Kitchen.

(Ken and Lesley enter from a shopping trip and unload grocery bags)

L: I am very excited about the new fridge we ordered. All those new drawers and dispensers. I can’t wait. I’m giddy with excitement. (Laugh track: light chuckle)

K: I’m glad you’re excited. Want to go look at windows?

L: Hey, you’re on a home-repair roll!

K: I just want to see about replacing the storms and screens before winter. It’s got to save energy if the wind isn’t howling through the living room. (Laugh track: medium chuckle)

L: As exciting as that sounds, no, thanks, you go ahead.

(Some time later. Ken returns.)

K: I might be the best husband in the world.

L: Yes. You are. But what have you done to deserve the title this time?

K: I bought you a vacuum cleaner! (Ken produces the latest model small portable electric broom. Laugh track: light chuckle)

L: You bought ME a vacuum cleaner? I hate vacuuming. I kicked our last vacuum down the basement stairs. (Laugh track: light chortle.) You mean you bought yourself a vacuum cleaner. How does this make you the best husband in the world?

K: It isn’t your Christmas present. (Laugh track: big laughs)

L: Good point. How did you make out with windows?

K: Fine. An estimator is coming at 2:00 tomorrow.

L: Oh, nuts! On a Sunday? Can’t he come on Monday? I was hoping we could go on a Sunday drive to go leaf-peeping tomorrow. It’s going to be such a beautiful day.

K: (Sighs) O.K. Let me call and find out if I can change it.

L: I can be home Monday afternoon.

K: (On the phone with the dispatcher at the big box hardware store)  Yes, I have an appointment set up with someone to measure for storm windows on our house for tomorrow at 2:00. I’d like to change that please.

Can you Monday? (To L: ) Can you do Tuesday?

L: No

K: How about Wednesday?

L: No good.

K: Thursday?

L: Nah-uh. I can do Friday. I’ll be waiting for an electrician anyway. Can they come Friday?

K: (to dispatcher:) Friday? No.

L: Oh, fine, fine. Let him come tomorrow.

K: (to dispatcher:) Alright, let’s leave the appointment as it is. We’ll be here at 2:00.

(Next scene: Sunday; 2:30 pm)

K: O.K. Where is this guy? (Laugh track: light, knowing snort)

L: I know! We raced home from leaf-peeping for a window guy who hasn’t even shown up!

K: (on the phone to the window estimator) Yes, we were expecting you at 2:00 to measure for storm windows? Uh huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. You don’t have us on your schedule AT ALL? No. Right. They never told you that you have an appointment this afternoon? For storm windows? Right. You’re a window estimator, right? Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Well, we made an appointment with the dispatcher for 2:00 for someone to measure for storm windows today. Yeah, we thought Sunday was weird, too. (Laugh track: guffaws.)

(Pause.)

K: Yeah, O.K. 5:00 would be fine. You’re in Fayetteville, but you can be here by 5:00? O.K. Thanks. See you then.  (to L:) Well, that’s just ridiculous. They never told this guy he had an appointment!

L: We re-organized our whole day for this!

K: I know. I’m going for a nap. (Laugh track: medium laugh.)

Sunday; 5:00:

Estimator arrives.

E: So sir, what are we lookin’ at here?

K: Storms and screens. Replacing them.

E: Uh, yeah. We don’t do that.

K: What do you mean? You don’t do that.

E: Yeah. We don’t do that.

K: O.K. Why did they tell me at the store that you do?

E: I dunno. They messed up I guess.

K: Yeah, I guess they did. So, we reorganized our whole day, waited for you to come at 2:00 and then waited for you to come at 5:00. And you don’t do this. That’s just perfect.

E: What can I tell ‘ya, sir?

(Ken on the phone a few minutes later)

K: Yes, customer service, please…..

Cue theme music.

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